You are an Assweed if....
- You pack an icecream sandwich in your child's lunchbox for school. Just because it's a pre made sandwich, doesn't mean it's a good idea.
- You shut off your refrigerator because you are going off on a long trip. Energy conservation is a good idea, but you probably left the hot water heater on because you are an assweed.
- Traffic- Your fault. (Already exists on a previous post)
- Long lines at the store- Your fault. (Already exists on a previous post)
- You park your car at the four way intersection to wait & see the pretty red light.
- You lie in wait to attack anyone with the gaul to complete an entire sentence. Either written or spoken.
- You have already passed the number of sentences you are typically able to read before punching the cat.
- You have a cat. (Disclaimer to cat lovers!! Not all people with cats are assweeds, but all assweeds have cats. They are usually kept under the gas / brake pedals of their automobiles.)
- If you lick your LCD screen thinking that you'll get high, not only are you an assweed, but you have no rights under the protection of law.
- Lastly, if you complain about gaining weight from eating fast food, & decide to sue someone over it, check your child's lunchbox for a weeks worth of melted ice cream sandwiches. But perhaps there is no need! If you made it this far, you must not be an assweed.
