Merry Christmas to All!

     Oh my god did I say Merry Christmas?

     Happy Holidays my ass. I love how this time of year brings out the whiner in allot of people. The same people that complain about what's been on a building for the last 80 years, or file complaints because someone's yard decorations make them think of a religion besides their own. What I dislike about these people even more is that they've forced me to whine about them! 


     This isn't a personal gripe, as if someone's complained about any decor in my yard. But every time I turn on any talk radio or watch the news, inevitably there it is. Someone's put up a nativity scene again and someone driving through town is offended and uses his right to form a protest. Of all the things to complain about... I wish I had so few things to worry about and waste time on, to file complaints to town offices and stand around in protest because someone does something I don't like. 


     If you don't like it, don't look at it. And if you happen to look at it anyway, mumble and curse under your breath about these people like any other red blooded American, and make an end of it. To be any more reactive than that is just being a sniveling whine-ass that needs an enema. 


Aside from the statements above I have no strong feelings on the matter.


Merry Christmas to all!
Dr. P.

10 Signs- You May be an Assweed

This is a public service designed to educate & inform individuals on the surrounding dangers of every day life & people.If you fit in any of the explanations below, you may be an assweed, & are a domestic enemy of the constitution of the United States, and those who abide therein.

You are an Assweed if....

1. You pack an icecream sandwich in your child's lunchbox for school. Just because it's a pre made sandwich, doesn't mean it's a good idea.
2. You shut off your refrigerator because you are going off on a long trip. Energy conservation is a good idea, but you probably left the hot water heater on because you are an assweed.
3. Traffic- Your fault. (Already exists on a previous post)
4. Long lines at the store- Your fault. (Already exists on a previous post)
5. You park your car at the four way intersection to wait & see the pretty red light.
6. You lie in wait to attack anyone with the gaul to complete an entire sentence. Either written or spoken.
7. You have already passed the number of sentences you are typically able to read before punching the cat. 
8. You have a cat. (Disclaimer to cat lovers!! Not all people with cats are assweeds, but all assweeds have cats. They are usually kept under the gas / brake pedals of their automobiles.)
9. If you lick your LCD screen thinking that you'll get high, not only are you an assweed, but you have no rights under the protection of law.
10. Lastly, if you complain about gaining weight from eating fast food, & decide to sue someone over it, check your child's lunchbox for a weeks worth of melted ice cream sandwiches.  But perhaps there is no need! If you made it this far, you must not be an assweed. 

More to follow on the matter as things get worse out there.

Three Unfortunate Observations

Misc. Babble- Joggers. Have you ever seen a jogger that just looks wrong doing what they're doing? Some people just don't look like they should be jogging at all. Arms flailing around everywhere, or even worse, jogging with their hands down. These people need to be introduced to any Rocky movie to see how it's done. If this is you, stop it. You look like you just escaped from somewhere that nobody needs to know about. Please, for the love of God, don't do that.

Misc. Babble- TV Bobble Heads. These are people, usually in commercials, that feel like they need to bob their head everywhere, because that's what you do in order to appear genuine & sincere. Don't they have any idea how this comes across to normal people? A rehearsed head gesture for almost every syllable. If you have never noticed this phenomenon, now that I mentioned it, you will!

Weird Thought- Have you ever been in a comatose state while you were driving? You get to your destination without missing a beat, no accident, no mishaps, & no wrong turns. Eventually you get out of your car & say to yourself, "How did I get here?".
That same person can go home & unintentionally slam into a wall or a piece of furniture in a home that they have lived in for years! I know there are many of us out there! Kind of scary when you think about it.

The Things People Will Search For!

Being a blogger or webmaster, you become familiar with the importance of search terms or keywords. Ever wonder about the outlier terms that nobody would think to even say, never mind place as a label? Let's explore with the force called Google.

Results 1 - 10 of about 7,990,000 for skat
Results 1 - 10 of about 3,810,000 for booboo
Results 1 - 10 of about 8,960,000 for blah blah blah
Results 1 - 10 of about 135 for getoutofmybrain
Results 1 - 10 of about 202 for fulcrumface
Results 1 - 10 of about 1,670,000 for lamo
Results 1 - 10 of about 3,650 for assweeds. AAAAHHAAAHAHA! I DON'T BELIEVE IT!!(See posts below)
Results 1 - 2 of 2 for leafylightbulb
Results 1 - 10 of about 58,100 for moontag
Results 1 - 10 of about 2,450 for hammerneck
Results 1 - 10 of about 236,000 for wowzers
Results 1 - 10 of about 409,000 for yellowsnow
Results 1 - 10 of about 342,000 for blacksnow
Results 1 - 10 of about 44,900 for mondobeyondo

There were only a few that I cane up with that yielded no results.

Your search - hairliphammerjackcolon - did not match any documents.
Your search - byebyeyouuglysonofamongoose - did not match any documents.
Your search - leekyskinflapsoveradrytowel - did not match any documents.
Your search - motherneverlovedyoubozo - did not match any documents.

For targeted traffic to your site, we now know that above four terms are available to you.
Your Welcome People!

Assweeds

(For the definition of the title of this post, please see the People are Wacky post)

I think it may be interesting to write a post about things people do where they should otherwise know better. Assweeds have a habit of doing these things on a regular basis, and will take offense immediately.

Assweeds- Joggers or bicyclists that have a 6 foot wide breakdown lane to travel down but insist on hovering the line! Beware, I hover the line too!

Assweeds- People that love to let you know how tough or crazy they are. We all know these people, and it is a quick realization, you are in the presence of an assweed.

In an almost empty theater, where you are the only one in there watching a mid day Monday movie, the person that decides to sit directly in front of you... You know what they are. And they're out there in droves!

This could go on & on forever, but does it really need to? These people will inevitably be chased down dark alleyways by torch carrying mobs of people anyways, as is always their fate. I guess maybe a bit of kindness would be......well.... Ah never mind! Bring out the torches! < a href='http://www.ablogin.com/' > A Blogin Blog Directory< /a >

Writers Block

It appears to me I am currently suffering from a slight case of writers block. That being the case, I thought I'd write about it. I figure why not? If that's all I can come up with, that's what I'm going to damn well do.

I guess the first thing I notice is the feeling of time running by as I sit with a 1000 mile stare toward, my screen. Could write about politics, but then the comments fill up with people defending their parties. I know my side is right, so why bother? Could write about people, but I find people, (not to be confused with persons or individuals), generally suck. Maybe I'll do that later.

Ever notice that most mid 90's to early 2000's music was all about self loathing, being victimized, and other forms of whining about one thing or another? In some cases, the heavier the music, the more severe the whining! Makes me sick. But I don't know if I should post that on a blog.

I could bring up how we're all going to die on the year 2012, but that would bring on something similar to the politics problem. Don't want to go there.

I guess writers block isn't exactly how it sounds. It's more like writers will. Whether a writer is willing to write something or not. Like an exchange of ideas that goes on without notice by the writer. At least that's what happens to me.

Hopefully something a bit more interesting next time!
Link Beetle

People are Wacky

Misc. Babble- I believe that the person who defined the word 'perfect' had their expectations way too high.

Misc. Babble- In a perfect world, or a Utopian society, I would still need to mow my lawn.

Weird Thought- Speaking of people defining things, where is the census held, when a word or phrase is changed to mean something completely different than what it use to? Everybody knows what these words are before the meaning changes, & oddly enough, everybody seem to know what it means after it changes! Who is on this seemingly invisible census board that has the power to change a word's very meaning without any alarm to the general public? Try it sometime & see if you are successful. I'll try it right now. From now on, I hereby declare that the words ass & weeds a new combined word that will loose any previous definition either may have held, & have formatted it below in a manner that Webster's can cut & paste it into their dictionary.

Main Entry: assweeds

Pronunciation: \aswēds\

Function: noun

Etymology: probably alteration of ass & weeds

Date: 2009

1: a person that is unliked by the general public 2 a: a new dance where people stand straight up & make donkey noises while listening to Frank Zappa tunes b: a tendency to produce spasmodic motions in the upper eyebrow area 3 a: a person being chased through the streets by the general public for no outward reason, only inward

There, Let's see if it catches on. Blogs That Follow

More Bologna

Misc. Babble- Never decide that it's a good idea to be the first to jump off a cliff, bridge, or rope swing, into any body of water. The potential is there to really ruin your day. Trust me!

Misc. Babble- Always be sure that there is someone swimming out farther than you in the water while at the beach. This way, you're less likely to be attacked by a shark. When the person out deeper is being attacked by a man eating fish, you'll have time to get out of the water. To get help of course...

Misc. Babble- I think the turn of the century has silently declared that there is no longer anything new under the sun in the movie industry. Look at all the cartoon turn real life movies, movies based on previously made movies, movies made about comic book characters, so on & so forth. The rest seem to be the same stories with different faces.

Weird Thoughts & Misc. Babble

I'm sure that I will be updating this regularly as I am usually not short on weird thoughts. Updates will be on the bottom. So please subscribe! Also, I have an almost supernatural ability to perform random acts of babble. When someone is staring at me with their head cocked like a confused dog with their eyes glazing over, it is then realized that I may have let some misc. babble slip from my brain, & out through my mouth.

Instead of formatting this in a paragraph style blog, I will list every item out as either a weird thought, or misc babble. This way, my blog seems much bigger while I do much less. I love that.

Weird Thought- Who had the idea of eating a potato, carrot, or any other root type fruit or vegetable? Ever wonder about that? I do. Digging down into the dirt to find some food? Without having any idea about what you've just found? To me that's pretty weird, & the same individual probably died of some sort of poisoning. Eating a lady slipper plant or something.

Misc. Babble- Never punch a gift horse in the mouth with a roll of wooden nickles. But if you have to, be sure to do it with the hand that feeds you.

Weird Thought- Have you ever been stuck in traffic & wondered where the hell everybody's going? You know that they all have to go somewhere, but where the hell are they going? And why now? And who are they?

Misc. Babble- My wife just heard on TV that someone died by jumping off of a cliff into the water. He hit the water feet first at over 30 miles an hour, shooting water up his bucket & blowing out his intestine. Don't do that. If you have to anyways, cross your legs.

Weird Thought- After winning millions, would I really do what I think I would do with the money? Does anybody?

7/28/09 Weird Thought- Ever wonder why people get a kick out of monkeys that are smarter than others? I would assume those same people hate anyone smarter than themselves. Ever meet a person that is jealous of a smart monkey? Stay away from that person.

7/28/09 Weird Thought- Have you ever noticed that the good old days have nothing to do with now? At what point does that page turn? While we're on the thought of time, what's the point of telling someone down on their luck that they have their whole future ahead of them? Where the hell else would it be? And when will they be out of the present to even know it's the future? Sounds like false hope.

7/28/09 Misc. Babble- Is it still necessary to use Latin to give an official name to a new species? Are languages STILL USED TODAY not specific enough? Latin= Secret Elf Tongue of the over educated.

7/29/09 Weird Thought- During conversation with my wife, I realized that I've never known what that purple edged, onion/lettuce looking stuff is in a salad,(Cabbage). I've always eaten it anyway, not knowing what it is. Kind of led me to wonder what else I've eaten & not known what it could be. Just thought I'd throw this one in there.

7/29/09 Weird Thought- Have you ever heard someone say something to you & find out that the sentence you just heard was spoken to you minutes ago? I think maybe it takes that long for you to hear it. This happens to me all the time.

Please see my other blogs~
Earth vs. World
Day of the Shoe
More to come.