I mad libbed my keyword bubble that you'll find here on the site called 'Trippy Word Count', out of a complete lack of intelligent thought. It is kind of weird, but what would you expect on a page dawning the word! Keywords were not moved from the order they were in when I cut & pasted them, and they have been italicized. It actually is kind of a challenge to come up with any continuity. What the hell, why not read the rest of the post to see what I've come up with!
In the year 2012, I hope that supernatural abilities evolve for anyone who uses adsense. The wrong advice given in the opportune moment can be amazing! When given bad advice by a group of assweeds, you find yourself with your brain shrunken just a bit, and babble dribbles out of your face like a fountain. When encountered with this sort of bad luck, bikes are out of the question since you may be killed.
If you tend to block reality, blogging may very well be the answer to all of the aforementioned issues. Instead of staring at your walls like a bobble head, try books! Or, you may feast your brain on this kind of BS. If you want to change your life, fashion a complaint of some sort, and get in the game!
Are you the type that finds conspiracy in everything you see? Well, you're probably crazy. But rejoice because they make a cream for that and can be found in any region at your local Walmart! That's right! For a measly 50 credits, definition of such a condition can be changed to fit your needs.
Side effects are violent deja vu episodes of becoming a Disney character. Driving is not recommended while using this miracle, because it tends to make you evil. If you fancy the falling game, this also may be a side effect that will lead down the trail of the goofy.
If you choose to research this miracle cure via Google, you may run into some undesirables. You may bump into someone who decides to call you a hairliphammerjackcolon, but use kid gloves with such a person, as hangnails tend to mess with a people's heads. Do not use the high beams on the way to Walmart, you may stir the hornets.
A sense of humor should never be used while eating ice icecream, because it may distract and kill joggers. Jogging can be very dangerous, and in life, you should be creating a list of these dangers that come with exercise. If you keep it in your lunchbox, money pours out of your thermos like water from a fall, from there your ready for the movies! Political music is harmful to listen to while exercising, as the nerves begin to exit the nervous system.
Another note... Bad news over an online job creates too mush pain for paranormal people. If you are powerful, a prediction from a psychic may cause you to hide from the public. So be sure to leave a quarter as a tip. Quitter Socks are ill advised while dealing with that medium, and may cause him to rant over his sandwich.
If you search online for a story, teeth begin to grow in the heads of terrorists giving them thoughts of eating food. This time, the toothache is all theirs, and may cause traffic in the space between their ears which may prevent them from being able to travel.
If you feel like being alongside trees, try taking a trek through the woods. While trekking, Don't be wacky and walk weird like an idiot. Use words that writers would be proud of when not suffering from writers block If you follow all the instruction given on this post, you will deserve to be committed to the nearest psychiatric, mental facility.
It being quite a while since I've posted anything at all on any of my blogs, I'd like to take this opportunity to explain why. I've mastered a new psychic ability. One which I am going to prove to you right now, that I am the most powerful being in the universe. I present to you 10 things that you will do in one day. I am going to lay out one of your days for you. This will be every day of your life. For those that have been reincarnated, your previous lives do not apply. Read on and be amazed!
1. Wake up.
No matter what time, you will wake up at least once in any given day, save one. And on that day you don't wake, I predict that you will be dead.
2. Find a Toilet.
You will either go and use your own, one at work, at friend's, maybe even create one against a tree somewhere. No matter what, you will find one.
3. Think about something you would like to do, or need to do for the day.
Anything from combing your hair, going to work, turning on your computer, buying gas, hitting the john, hitting the neighbors dog with a lamp, jumping off a bridge.... You know. Daily mundane stuff.
4. You will look at something.
(The blind excluded) I predict today you will look at something at some point in your day, & will be unprovoked in any way, to think any differently than you would have otherwise.
5. You will dodge something.
Be it someone crossing your path, walking around a wall to find a doorway, a vehicle, or any other type of non-organic projectile. You will move.
6. You will pick something up.
Your keys, pants, socks, kids, cats, dogs, wallet, purse, mail, phone, silverware, dumbbell, barbell, brick, fork, spoon, cup, glass, box, salt / pepper shakers, can, cards, cash, and a bag... I know without a shadow of a doubt, that you will pick up at least one of these on any given day for the rest of your lives. Try not to be as humbled as you know you should be by my psychicness...ness.
7. You will smell something.
You will at some point in a day, smell something. More often than not, it will be yourself. For good or for shame.
8. You will eat, or want to eat something.
Knowing that some people lack the concept of time, and go a day or two without eating, I predict that these people will miss a day or two every now and then, but will at least think of eating something. These people are either Gears of War fans or victims of a Star Trek the Next Generation marathon. Everyone else will eat something. Be Amazed!
9. You will think of at least two songs.
Guaranteed. You will think of at least two. One that you like, and one you wish you had never been subjected to. These are the ones that stick inside your head all day. Love Boat theme & disco songs are the worst offenders. Love.... So exciting and new....
10. You will get annoyed at least once.
At the very least, once. Your dog won't stop licking itself, leaky pipes, the computer is extremely slow, your lighter stopped working, traffic is making you late for your the rest of your life, squeaky doors & chairs, other peoples kids, head or body aches, nothing but crap on television, thumb squashed with a hammer, hangnails, nonstop ringing o the phone, soggy cereal, wedgies, spam, beatings, hold ups, getting shot by accident (annoying), losing your stuff, finding your stuff and it's ruined or on fire, close calls, faulty appliances, lousy views, bad weather, blown bulbs, low oil, people deciding to suck, trashy pits, swamp ass, kids fighting, neighbors fighting and on fire, lead broken on pencils, you spilled your drink, you slipped and fell, cow flops too fresh on tossing day, just came back from the store and found that you are out of something you didn't pick up, ringing ears, bad gas with unfortunate timing, mosquitoes or anything else that needs to buzz in your ear, and last but not least... Alarm clocks.
Any one of these will happen to every one of you, every day for the rest of your lives!
Please... Please... Your welcome. It is only a small token that I request in return for me making full use of this new paranormal gift that has been bestowed upon me. All I ask in return, is that you leave me a comment, describing how I have personally changed your life, now that I, in one amazing foul swoop, have unlocked the secrets of your future.
In the year 2012, I hope that supernatural abilities evolve for anyone who uses adsense. The wrong advice given in the opportune moment can be amazing! When given bad advice by a group of assweeds, you find yourself with your brain shrunken just a bit, and babble dribbles out of your face like a fountain. When encountered with this sort of bad luck, bikes are out of the question since you may be killed.